The Bourne Ultimatum

The Players: Matt Damon as the title character and Paul Greengrass (United 93, the last Bourne movie) in the director’s chair.
The Story: Bourne is trying to discover more about his past. A trillion people try to get him, but h is so badass he beats them all. And still has time to go out for ice cream. Because he is THAT badass.
Rotten Tomatoes: 93%
Trailer

I’m not exactly the biggest fan of the Bourne movies. But it has been a solid and reasonably entertaining series, and every indication is that the third is just as good as the second.

BRATZ

The Players: No one you would be interested in.
The Story: Once upon I time, there was a a big corporation who sold dolls. They wanted to make even more money, so they made a movie about said dolls. The movie itself was one big commercial, only it had less story than most commercials.
Rotten Tomatoes: 5% (ouch)
Trailer

Most anticipated movie of the summer, right?

Hot Rod

The Players: SNL’s Andy Samberg, together with many of the people responsible for the recent SNL’s digital shorts.
The Story: Rod Kimble thinks he is a capable stunt man. Turns out he isn’t. Hilarity ensues.
Rotten Tomatoes: 32%
Trailer

The reviews haven’t been that good, but the trailer is hilarious and Andy Samberg is a true talent. So I’m still hopeful.

Underdog

The Players: A dog. Who can fly.
The Story: There is this dog. He can fly.
Rotten Tomatoes: No reviews so far
Trailer

I’m really glad I never actually watched Underdog, so I don’t have to see my beloved childhood memories spoiled by a lame movie.

Becoming Jane

The Players: Anne Hathaway as Jane Austen.
The Story: It’s about Jane Austen and a romance she had before becoming famous. Although it’s been tagged as biographical the general consensus seems to be that it’s mostly fiction.
Rotten Tomatoes: 61%, which is better than I was expecting.
Trailer

It’s funny. I enjoy Austen’s works and have liked several of the movie adaptations of said works. And yet, this one doesn’t interest me at all.

El Cantante

The Players: Jennifer Lopez and Mr. Lopez (Marc Anthony)
The Story: The life story of famous Salsa singer Hector Lavoe.
Rotten Tomatoes: 27%
Trailer

I just don’t think Anthony has what it takes to pull this off.