Balls of Fury

The Players: Christopher Walken does his trademark Christopher Walken cameo that is funnier than anything in the rest of the film.
The Story: It’s about a ping-pong competition. I could elaborate, but somehow I don’t think that a plot that centers around a ping-pong competition merits it.
Rotten Tomatoes: 27%
Trailer

Alternate tagline: “A comedy that is sure to suck balls!”

Death Sentence

The Players: Kevin Bacon stars. Director James Wan (the original SAW, Dead Silence) gets his second movie this year. Based on a book by Brian Garfield, who also wrote Death Wish.
The Story: Mild-mannered guy + gruesome incident = bloody revenge.
Rotten Tomatoes: 8% (only 12 reviews so far)
Trailer

It has some promise, but the negativity of the reviews has me worried.

Halloween

The Players: Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Samuel Loomis. Rob Zombie directs.
The Story: Like you don’t know it already. Crazy guy kills a bunch of people, the original version.
Rotten Tomatoes: Not enough reviews yet. But early reviews have been pretty negative.
Trailer

Did we need a remake of Halloween? No we didn’t. But we got one any way, so we might as well hope an pray that it doesn’t soil the memory of the original.